I’m almost positive that Weird Al’s “Mission Statement” isn’t a parody of anything, but it may as well be a parody of our library district.
Hey, we’re already a fucking joke, may as well have a song about it.
Imagine that Person A finds Person B asleep in the library. Failing to wake them up, or too shy to try, Person A covers Person B in their sweater and leaves. Whether or not Person B knows who the owner of the sweater is when they wake up is up to you. (Bonus: Person B keeps the sweater and starts wearing it in public.)
And then I kick Person B out because no sleeping in the library, goddammit.
A young boy approached the front desk. He comes into the library regularly and is ahead of his age in maturity. He wanted to know where he could find Star Wars books. We have quite a few fiction but also non-fiction Star Wars books. The non-fiction can be about the history and making of Star Wars.
Me: “Are you interested in fiction or non-fiction?”
Boy [long pause, with serious expression]: ”You do realize that Star Wars is fake right?”